green&pink.

going outfield on tuesday.. actually i already applied leave from monday to wednesday, but my OC shot this last-minute arrow at me. what to do, just accept hardship.

i think the greatest lesson learnt these two years is that its okay to spend extra time/money just to care about others. it seems that the poly people are better at showing concern and thinking about others when they do things. for the jc kids, it just does not come to us naturally. like when they are buying food, it would cross their minds to purchase slightly more, so that they can bring it back to share the love with everybody. once upon a time i believed that people helped others for karma, entry to heaven, etc. but now i see, help can be given altruistically, and makes the world a nicer place (:

on to depressing things. the dog is at it again.. what a bloody bitch. it's really annoying, especially when you think it has moved on, only to be interrupted by its baying once again. all i did was to innocently extend my hand to feed it, and the hound thought it to be affection, and longed for more. what the hell, please don't be stupid. yet i am not cold-hearted enough to aggressively drive it away, just remain oblivious and hope for it to go away. am i to feel guilty for having shown it kindness, or to tell myself that i am not to blame for it misinterpreting my gesture? and i can only endure in the silence..

at the end of two years, a transformation for who?
the men, who ceaselessly seek to avoid work?
the specialists, who stop when nobody is watching?
the officers?
shoving the work away
avoiding responsibility
pushing blame
yearning sympathy
acting busy
claiming credit
indulging in their wants

marching inevitably to the end, yet people have not learnt, not changed. "the top few percent of the cohort", measured in? physical fitness? intelligence? how about looking at some responsibility and teamwork? the nonsense that some individuals can come up with to accomodate their selfishness and indolence, confounds me. how different are we, if despite all training we still succumb to these weaknesses?

they the perceptive, viewing this time as a transient phase, sacrifice their privileges to sustain the system. filling in for those who abandon their stations. once upon a time everyone shared this mentality: "someone will have to do it, it'll be over at the end, just bear with it", "love all, suffer alone." And time eroded it away..

or perhaps it was never inculcated in the first place...

"[Dona Maria] saw that the people of this world moved about in an armor of egotism, drunk with self-gazing, athirst for compliments, hearing little of what was said to them, unmoved by the accidents that befell their closest friends, in dread of all appeals that might interrupt their long communion with their own desires."

go to dmc! out on 19 march

SATSUGAI 【PV】デトロイト・メタル・シティ/Detroit Metal City

or a happier version

『甘い恋人』　カジヒデキ.Ver ～デトロイト・メタル・シティ～